I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
