Is it because I queefed?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
