Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
