2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
