I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
