you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's shark week go big or go home
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
