how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
