Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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