my vag is so smooth its legendary
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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