Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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