I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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