So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
