a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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