problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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