but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
