im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
