i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
