Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Send help, water and tortillas.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
