this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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