i think my mom watched the whole time
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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