It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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