apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When did we convert life to cartoon?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
