you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
