he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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