I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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