I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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