yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize