why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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