Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
