Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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