glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
