Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
