So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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