But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
