we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
