singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Congratulations! We have a period
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