youre lurking in front of me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Randomize
