wanna go halves on a baby?
I cut my penus on the lid.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
