sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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