I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
