Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
