can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
