just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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