I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
