You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
