Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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