a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm passing your future prison.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
