I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
