I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
