So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
