did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
